a child of 25

maybe the third time's a charm. the last two times i've attempted to post a blog, i've ended up writing things that were way too personal to publish on the internet. suffice it to say that i'm under somewhat of a dark cloud at the moment, and that can lead to some possibly alarming writing.

there is this girl at my work who has two boys pining for her affections. one of them has sent her flowers at least twice, and the newer one sent her flowers today. these flowers usually come with a teddy bear attached to the vase. today, without thinking first, i looked at the teddy bear, looked at her, and said, "so, do you have a collection of these somewhere?" oops. luckily she took it fairly well. i guess all that censoring myself has to seep out somewhere.

on the bright side, i do have a current favorite song. i finally got the last kiss soundtrack, and now i am obsessed, and i mean completely and totally obsessed, with the song chocolate by snow patrol. i think i've listened to it at least six times today. before this, it was how to save a life by the fray, which has unexpectedly been bumped into second place on the countdown. this might have something to do with the fact that i cant listen to it without crying, another unexpected development. this is kind of a problem, seeing how much radio play that damn song gets.

if you see the last kiss (which you should, half nelson is also very good, i saw it the other night) you'll realize how perfectly this song encapsulates the film. it also happens to encapsulate some of myself at the moment, and some of what i wish somebody else could be.

chocolate by snow patrol

this could be the very minute
i'm aware i'm alive
all these places feel like home

with i'd never chosen
i can make my first steps
as a child of 25

this is the straw, final straw in the
roof of my mouth as i lie to you
just because i'm sorry doesn't mean
i didn't enjoy it at the time

you're the only thing that i love
it scares me more every day
on my knees i think clearer

goodness knows i saw it coming
or at least i'll claim i did
but in truth i'm lost for words

what have i done it's too late for that
what have i become truth is nothing yet
a simple mistake starts the hardest time
i promise i'll do anything you ask...this time