travel chocolate

i made a new friend yesterday. his name is donald. he introduced me to a concept that i will surely carry with me for life: travel chocolate. you carry it around with you so that when you (or your travel companion) start getting hungry and cranky, you can whip it out and avert a crisis. even though we were just walking around central square, we got some travel chocolate. if you know me, you know i love chocolate, and any excuse to carry some with me is the best idea i've ever heard.

i'm so sleepy. today i'm going to dog sit my friend's dog, parisol. she is a boston bull terrier mix. this little exercise will theoretically help me decide if i really want to get a dog or not. i'm excited, because she is freaking adorable, but i'm worried that after today i won't want my own little doggie anymore.

last night i left work at 11:40 pm. i got to the bus station at midnight. the bus always takes about a year to come on sunday nights, so i settled in with my ipod to watch lost. i made it through an entire episode. i started another one. i was fading into exhaustion and frustration. soon it was almost 1 am. i started getting angry, having visions of myself calling the mbta and forcing them to pay for my cab fare that i was about to have to shell out. the bus showed up at 1:15 am. riding home, i felt less angry about it than usual. it was refreshing. earlier in the day, i had prayed that God would give his spirit, especially the fruits of his spirit. the patience and peace i was feeling certainly wasn't from me.

every minute that passes i think of another person i'm going to see that i don't want to talk to.
my friend, while waiting to leave for a college friend's birthday party

sharing umbrellas

it won't stop raining in boston. i don't get it. apparently it was almost 100 degrees yesterday in oregon. what is going on here, people? i did not sign up for this. i have cute new summer shoes and skirts and i want to wear them! i do not want to keep re-getting out my winter coats! first the winter lasts half the year, and now this!

every where i look i see couples. couples, couples, couples. snuggling on the bus. chatting it up on the subway. shopping for trendy clothes together at urban outfitters, hands intertwined. sharing umbrellas in harvard square. i try not to hate them, but sometimes i do. why do we hate people who we want to be?

there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of adorable indie semi-tatooed guys in cambridge. i see them every day. isn't there one for me?

24 hour snapshot

10 pm, friday: just finished seeing blue man group with my school. freaking awesome! the best part was one of my students sitting next to me, a girl who is normally quite depressed, screaming with joy at the top of her lungs.

11 pm: out with my amazing new girl friends at the asgard in central square.

12 am: we are having a candid conversation about sex, relationships, and christian boys. i can't help but compare us to the sex and the city girls. especially since i'm wearing an outfit that has made me feel like carrie bradshaw all day.

1 am: heading home with sara, still talking about boys.

2 am - 8 am: sleeping

8 am: walking to the bus like a zombie, wearing three different pink patterns and feeling damn good about it.

9 am: arrive at work, discover the latest act of teenage defiance

10 am-4 pm: at work, dealing with the drama, trying helplessly to speak logic to hopeless teenage boys. exhausted and blowing my nose non-stop. discovering that claritin doesn't work on new england allergies.

4 pm: back on the bus, listening to music, tapping my pink shoes, drifting off to sleep...

5 pm-9 pm: napping

9 pm: eating ice cream, wasting time on the internet, trying to drudge up the motivation to clean the bomb of crap that is my room. instead, i stay in bed where it is safe.

10 pm: blogging it up. time to call my mommy.

melancholy: illuminated

everything is illuminated in the light of the past jonathan safran foer

if you haven't seen the movie everything is illuminated, please go do it right now. and if you still believe in love at all, but feel a bit jaded, you should watch walk the line after that. then listen to the new amsterdams. trust me, this is the formula for happiness.

yesterday i made art on the floor a la sabrina ward harrison with my new wonderful friend sarah. sabrina just came out with this journal, partially illustrated by her, that you can add your own words and images to. sarah and i are doing it together.

on saturday night i met a bunch of my friends from work who were all out drinking. by the time i got there they were all pretty wasted, and they were ridiculously excited to see me. it was pretty hilarious.

my best friend brian is taking his future wife nicole on a honeymoon to italy. apparently he told me this was a surprise. i obviously wasn't listening if he did because a few days ago i sent her an email that said, among other things, "i'm so excited for you to go to italy! you'll love it!" they had a good laugh. i didn't really think it was funny. oops.

in two months i am going home to oregon for a week. a month or two or three ago i really didn't think i could make it until july. i have been in boston for 8 months, and in july it will have been 10, and 6 months since i've been home. i should get some sort of medal. even if i don't, i'm really proud of myself.

on friday i went to the circus for the first time in my life. it was amazing. people were flying everywhere, catching each other while dogs did the can-can on their hind legs. i watched in awe and horror, stuffing cotton candy into my gaping mouth. i realized if i ever want to fly like i do in my dreams, i'm going to have to join the circus.

do you ever miss her? do you feel the cold wind whisper? is there anything more deafening? are you hanging on for hope? (who else?) the new amsterdams