sometimes, all i really have is a title, a title i don't intend to explain. but for the sake of my readers (which are many) i will attempt to think of something else to say.
i left work early this evening as i am feeling under the weather. i just swallowed a couple of nyquil in the hopes that i will fall into a deep sleep and wake up miraculously healed in the morning and ready to head back to work. we shall see.
i am going home in about two weeks! i am sooo excited. i shall hold "my" babies, i shall be a beautiful bridesmaid (but not more beautiful than the bride, of course), and i shall have good times with friends and the fam.
but what to do when i return? that is the question that is currently plagueing me. see, i got into grad school for art therapy, and this is all very exciting and congratulations to me and all that jazz, but now i'm not sure if i should go. i have determined in the last few days through reflection and prayer that i do indeed WANT to go, which is good, but i am not sure if God has something better in mind. my friends prayed for me at small group, which was very nice, but one of their prayers made me think YES to grad school, and the other made me think NO. the first one said something along the lines of "it's a risk not to take a risk." now which is more of a risk? grad school or no grad school? i used to think it was the former but now i think it's the latter and i am confused and i need a sign from God. a clear sign. you know, a YES or NO written in the sky kind of sign. again, we shall see.
the other night i was worrying outloud in a simular, over-analytical fashion about a new man in my life, and i was working myself into quite a frenzy, and my male friend said, "i'm so glad i'm a guy." i was jealous, very jealous, just as i have been ever since i first learned that males can shut off their thoughts and enjoy a mental peace that i can only dream of.
speaking of dreams, i think the nyquil is starting to do the trick. as i sometimes say to God before i go to sleep, thank you, good night.
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"once you have flown, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward; for there you have been, and there you long to return." leonardo da vinci
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