happy reality

i apologize to all you readers out there for the lack of postings lately, my internet access is so darn limited. i hope you all are well. crap, this is starting to sound like one of those generic mass emails. enough of that! yesterday was a good day. i spent it with all my favorite newbergians, nicole, brian, matt, nicole, and matea. nicole and i went shoe shopping all day in portland and it was awesome. i was on the prowl for a pair of 40's inspired, completely unpractical heels and on a birthday money budget. we went to all the great shoe places i could think of, and i was rewarded with two great pairs of heels and being under budget. that is because i found the most amazing shoes for only $10. yeah baby! we went to this one store called halo, which shanna and naomi are always raving about. lo and behold, we walk in, and who is there but naomi herself, and caleb, her insanely hot brother. so that was a more-than-nice surprise. they apparently can afford $300 dollar shoes, which enforces the idea that they live in a world beyond my own, that includes such craziness as the sundance film festival, cocktail parties and weekend trips to new york. naomi is the kind of person i always expect to see in that ritzy party picture section of the paper, where they show pictures of the governer's wife at parties and such. the venn diagrams of our worlds do intersect, but some of the time i feel like an outsider in thier company.

after the shoe shop hopping, i went to church at countryside with my peops in my new amazing shoes. i thought if i put on hot heels i would immediattely walk like carrie bradshaw on the streets of manhattan, but such was not the case. i see years of practice ahead of me. as always seems to happen when i go to that church, i spent the whole service passing notes to bobo and whispering comments that were fairly inappropriate. i'm never more sure that i'm going to hell than when i leave that church. (mostly kidding). then we all went to this vietnamese restaurant and then bobo and nicole and i went and saw an enjoyable movie, in good company. i liked it because it was real. nicole didnt like it because she wanted a happy ending. i pointed to the screen and said "that's my life." brian said he doesnt go to the movies to see reality, he has that everyday. i just dont see the point of seeing movies with cookie cutter scripts where the guy always gets to girl. all they do is fuel my discontent, and it has plenty of fuel from other places. i ended the day at 2:30 am trying to fall asleep on brian's futon. i love unexpected days that are full of friends. the great part is, it doesnt even feel like the day is over yet! i am waking up at brian's right now and we are going to go have more fun. what a great weekend. when i woke up this morning i had a strangely comforting epiphany. there are certain people i will never be and certain people i will never be with. and really, that is okay with me.

"i imagine jesus walking into church, saying 'hey' to people as he comes up from the back, then glancing up at the stage, seeing the cross and going 'ugh!' " brian, pondering the appropriateness of displaying crosses