i don't wanna

tomorrow i leave to go skiing/snowboarding for four days with my students and two other staff, our annual ski trip. i know what you're thinking...that sounds fun! yeah, it does. but i don't wanna go. you may recall a previous post of mine, "why i hate camping." well, that was the account of my last work trip. okay, it was camping, and it was raining, so obviously it was very different. this is going to be fun! this is going to be fun...(i'm trying to convince myself).

this happens to me sometimes. by "this" i mean, i have something fun coming up and i just don't want to do it. does that mean i'm depressed? this last wednesday, i had an interview for an internship i really, really want, and i was excited, but another part of me was dreading it. and during the interview, i felt so spacey, like i couldn't form my words and sentences right and truly engage with my interviewer. and i was so prepared, so early, so excited. yucky. i wanted it to be perfect.

so part of me is excited for the ski trip, too. but i'm more excited for the FIVE DAYS that i have off afterwards. i'm bringing along my sewing book so that hopefully, finally, when i get back, i can start sewing clothes. fashion designing, here i come. i guess i'll have to learn to build a second closet, too.

my work lately has been pushing me to levels of stress not felt by me in some time. it's not pretty. also when i get back, i've got to find myself a new counselor. and it needs to stop being winter, so i can ride my bike everywhere and wear flowy skirts and tank tops and be happy.

danny is coming over to make me dinner...eggplant parmesan, because i've never had eggplant. he's a really good cook. we also have to have a not-so-fun talk though, so i'm not looking forward to him coming over, either.

however, one amazing happy thing did happen to me the other day. i got a late birthday package from my friend sarah in the mail. sarah moved away, and i miss her dearly. the package was so amazing. so beautiful. the outside was covered in beautiful red fish paper, and when i carefully opened the box, i saw adorable star tissue paper held together by a big orange goldfish sticker. yay! under the paper were all kinds of treasures. a freaking adorable, so me purse, a mix cd covered in hearts, rainbox brite stickers, a paper source gift card, and a huge pack of collage paper. yeah sarah! and of course a very sweet card. i almost cried. it was lovely.

rainbow brite is very special to me, because i loved her when i was little, and i had a rainbow brite comforter and doll and other lovelies. but best of all, i was rainbow brite for halloween in preschool, my mom made me the costume, complete with arm-poofies. and there's this picture of me walking along the rainy sidewalk to preschool with my lovely costume on and my curly, white-blonde hair and big blue eyes. the great thing is, sarah didn't know any of that.

why must we be separated from some of our most special friends? speaking of these people, happy birthday, kari! i miss you. your own package of treasures is on the way.