someday i will be loved

yesterday was my second day at work and it was much better. i guess i just felt more comfortable my the end of the day. i've been listening to death cab for cutie's new cd, plans, as tim is in love with them and i am going to their show with him next month. this one song stole my heart as soon as i heard it, so i am going to share the words with you, because that is what i do when this happens.

"Someday You Will Be Loved"

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And every time tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

i am getting this anxious feeling like i have to do it all...and my all, i mean, show my work in galleries, make art, set up a studio, join a band...why do the things i love become items on my to do list? and why am i so lazy? i used to be so motivated back in high school, i did all of my homework and all of those extracurriculars and now all i want to do after work is sleep. i hate it. i long for the motivation i need to sustain me and all of my dreams and ambitions. i am never going to accomplish anything at this snail's pace. so frustrating. how do i choose how to spend my free time, the precious free time when i'm not tired? how can i find the balance between being patient with myself and pursuing what i want wholeheartedly?