naked hot-tubbing

hola. it is the first day of september and raining, just as it should be. i love the rain. i am sitting in the george fox computer lab, as the first school year in four years i am not a part of bustles around me. quite strange, i must say. everything seems so unchanged, as if i was never really here at all. do do do do do do...twilight zone.

so the bakery shot me down. they want someone to commit for a year, and i just cant do that. so it's onward with the job search today. i'm starting to get...annoyed, discouraged, all that good stuff. i'll hit up the mcminnville employment office today...i havent worked at all yet this week and that is not good. the money i am trying to save for an apartment is becoming harder to save with each passing moment and each mile of expensive gas i use. i know i will find something...but i dont know what it is, and that is a little freaky.

speaking of freaky, last night i saw something firsthand that i have never seen before...naked hot-tubbing. i was over at some wine festival friend's house for a bbq, i go inside, come back out and BAM! naked people in the hot tub. i was fairly shocked. the shock grew as the dad of the twins i babysit sometimes joined in the naked fun. ew! i mean, if people want to get naked in their own time with other naked people, they can go for it as far as i'm concerned. but there were lots of non-naked folks around, just trying to mind their own bbq business. i felt like i was watching a documentary on the discovery channel...the wine industry, uncovered! literally!

dammit, i just saw my first non-graduated friend and he said "they always come back." yeah, yeah, rub it in my face, i dont have a life yet, blah, blah, blah. this is such a weird time in my life...i feel like i'm floating through this abyss of questions and pain and hope and ... i dont know. i just want to find a job. the frequency with which i am visiting the pop can center at fred meyer is starting to freak me out. there is this old guy who almost lives there, makes his whole living on pop cans. he's there every time i go, ready to take the cans that people throw away. people are so interesting...i've gotten a taste recently of surving on pop cans alone, and i cant imagine doing that for more than a couple of weeks. ah, the sociology of it all... so fascinating. yes, i am a dork.

and if you follow me you'll see all the black, all the white fade to grey -- jars of clay