smacked by a flying dirt clod

as usual, i have jumped the gun. this time it was by saying that "i'm so happy" that summer is just around the bend. i must have written that about five seconds before my allergies kicked in and i remembered how global warming has permenantly ruined oregon's mild climate and turned it into a sweltering summer inferno! i think to myself, "i have to move." but there's really nowhere else i want to go at the moment that i imagine to have cooler summers. darn humans and their freaking cfc's!

the most traumatizing occurance possible has occured since my last post. it is the thing i dread the most in the world, the thing i will do almost anything instead of. and early last tuesday morning, at approximately 4:20 am, it happened. i threw up. i was all alone and i vomited and there was nothing i could do to stop it. it happened again at 6 am, after which i drove myself to roth's in a rather weakened and traumatized state to buy pepto bismol, mint tea, and breath mints. the breath mints were in case the first two things didn't stop me from puking again. then i fervently prayed to God that he wouldn't let me throw up again. after many hours of laying very still and kind of sleeping, he answered and i knew i was out of the woods. however, i was severely weakened by the encounter with the dreaded vomit and i slept for the better part of the next two days.

on friday, it was back to work and back to good ol' caffe amico (that's the name of the coffee bar at roth's -- a name i detest not only because it sounds stupid but because they insist on spelling "caffe" with two f's) to see if i could make it through an 8 hour day. i did. and while i was working i noticed that every friday a transformation comes over me as i work in the deli. i get more and more angry and bitter and stressed out. i'm not sure exactly why, i just know i don't think i like the person i become (at least mentally). i mean, i have my happy moments, chattin' it up with friendly customers, gazing at the old couples having their daily coffee...but other times i just get really, really pissed off. this friday i was sweeping up these frigin dirt clods that big boot wearing dudes are always tracking in, and semi-shouting at the deli manager, cheryl, saying "i hate how people are always tracking in these stupid dirt clods! i mean, is it too much to ask to get rid of your dirt clods before you come in the store?" and bam! it hit me. i have to get out of here before it is too late. no one should ever, ever, be this worked up about dirt clods.