black and white

it's been so long since i've been able to sit down and write whatever i want, i dont know where to start. my new (and yes, i love it) apartment has no internet connectivity so far, so opportunities to blog are few and far between. the basic update of my life is that i have been living in my new apt for about 2 weeks, and am currently decorating/unpacking/scraping together furniture in the what seems like only a few hours that i am not working. i love where i live, i love my apartment, love, love, love, that pretty much ends when i walk out the door. i've been slowly torturing myself to death with the realization that i hate working by myself for a couple of weeks now, each day dragging on for seemingly an eternity. however, this has become rather exhausting, so a change in attitude and schedule revision are underway. i will now work monday-friday, instead of monday-saturday, and it will go like this: mon-wed: chalk art at roth's; thu: geneva; fri: barista at roth's. and then, of course, the amazing phenomenon i haven't experienced in so long called a WEEKEND! i can hardly wait to reacquaint myself with its beauty. two days off in a row...it will be a little slice of heaven.

today i developed a theory. ok, i put into words something i've thought forever, but close enough. the theory is this: all the atleast somewhat attractive, possibly cool males around me (aka guys i could possibly see myself liking) fit into one of three categories: one - married. two - idiot. three - too young. so what i have to do (eventually) is find someone who doesnt fit into any of those categories. this seems nearly impossible. take for example, two guys at my work, we'll call them stan and jimmy. stan is the new guy who is pretty hot. after a few walkbys and near-introductions, i see that he has that terrible hunk of metal on his left hand...the wedding ring. damn you, stan! then there's jimmy, the kind of cute dude with not-so-great shoes, something i am possibly willing to overlook, until he proves himself to be an idiot, which he did a few days ago. his behavior also solidified the theory that he is indeed also a member of option three, too young.

as you can possibly see by the theory above, i've been thinking a lot of things are pretty hopeless lately...liking my job, ever meeting a decent guy, finding a church i love, being happy. i want to contrast this depressing notion and start on that new better attitude by making a list...

the 14 things i love right now*

1. my apartment
2. old records
3. how excited geneva gets to see me after just a few days
4. walking in downtown mcminnville
5. denice's mom's canning skills
6. the sound of cars passing my apartment at night
7. movietime video and local businesses in general
8. howie day
9. stem and leaf satsuma tangerines
10. my new bright blue and bright green sweaters
11. visits from nicole and matea at roth's
12. christmas gift baskets from mommy
13. sleeping in my childhood bed (the most comfortable bed ever) in my adulthood apartment
14. singing like i'm giving a concert

*i had to make it more things than the 'things i'm sick of' list so that i wouldnt be a complete pessimist

"and i have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay" the postal service