the terror of tv

i have been pondering this subject for some time, despite my natural american love for television. here are several reasons, stories, antecdotes, etc. that illustrate why tv is indeed terrible.

tv makes me lazy

i often wonder at how much people used to be able to accomplish before the "magic box" came into our lives. even though i often tell myself that i am just turning on the tv for some noise in my apartment, some strange electronic presence to keep me company, and i will be productive despite it being on, half the time i end up laying there, watching it, accomplishing pretty much nothing besides relaxing. maybe for a stressed out worrier like myself, that is an accomplishment.

tv perfects the art of overkill

i think i can explain this one with two words: reality shows. enough already! yet, of course, even a wise person such as myself has been sucked into a few of them. case in point: the apprentice. when i lived with shanna, we made it our thursday night thing to watch the apprentice and discuss how stupid most of the contestants were. on a sidenote, this experience made me realize i would never want to be competing against shanna for anything, especially in business. she would win, i would feel bad, it's all so predictable. anyhow, after every idiot except for two had been eliminated, it was time for the season finale. the three hour season finale. i wish i was kidding, but i did watch the entire thing. and boy, were they scrambling for crap to fill up that three hours with. by the time they had brought out some band to perform the theme song, "money money money money!" i was dangerously close to losing my mind and my dinner. you know when you eat too much of something and you end up puking it up, and then you can never eat it again? i haven't watched the apprentice since, and i still feel slightly ill when i think of that night.

tv encourages false expectations

we've all seen it -- the scene in every cookie-cutter tv show and movie...the one where the romantic leads, two people who were previously unaware of how attractive the other person was, suddenly lock eyes and instantly fall in love. perhaps thier gaze even leads to a mutual kiss, each somehow knowing the other feels it too. well, let me tell you, i'm 23 years old, and this has never happened to me. nor have i been chased down the street, sang to in my window, or stopped just before getting on a plane at the airport by someone dying to profess thier love to me. and thanks to years of brainwashing, i am actually disappointed by this. i actually find myself making up stories in which these things happen. and occasionally, amazing, tv worthy things do happen, but never quite in the same way you saw on the boob tube. and that's ok with me. real life is so much better, so much more beautiful. even with the long, boring patches.