what chaps my hide

local cross country runners

you're innocently driving through newberg when, all of a sudden, you and your car are practically accosted by a herd of mostly naked young men, jogging by like the road is their own personal track. they are almost always sickly pale and that nasty muscley-skinny that all runners seem to be, and seem to think that we all love to partake in viewing their white, lanky bodies, covered only in underwear, er, running shorts.

awkward questions you're dying to know the answer to

why cant it be socially acceptable to just ask our burning questions out of the blue? for example, 'how old are you?' 'do you have a girlfriend?' and 'how'd you get that lazy eye?' why do we have to twist our brains in a knot trying to find a subtle way to work it into conversation? 'hey...my friend sarah and i went to the movies the other day...speaking of friends that are girls, do you have a girlfriend?' yeah. real smooth.

huge families with balloons in shoe stores

you're attempting to navigate through the 8 1/2 aisle of your local payless shoe source, when the worlds biggest family of the world's loudest and most obnoxious children meanders into the store. 'please dont come into my aisle...' you silently plead, but sure enough, the heard is moving your way. to make matters worse, the 85 children have acquired balloons somewhere else in the mall, and soon your pleasant shoe browsing experience is interuppted by a cloud of colored latex and too many bodies. you shoot the parents a few 'i'm trying to look at shoes here, can you control your children or maybe just get the beep out of the store' looks, but you go completely unnoticed, and soon have no choice but to slump out of the store in defeat.

disclaimer: the pet peeves listed here are based on a somewhat exaggerated version of reality. any resemblance to actual people, places, or events is entirely coincidental.