flashback

i was cleaning my room at home this evening (and when i say home, i mean my real home home in oregon city, otherwise now known as my dad's house) and i came across an old journal entry that i found quite fascinating, so i decided to publish it here and spread the fun.

what does one do when she graduates college?

does she move into a creepy apartment for a month before she moves to new york? does she feel weird and unsettled for an undisclosed amount of time? does she wonder, in the same five minutes, why this lady has approximately 57 shades of pink nail polish and when she is going to meet her husband? apparently so. it is five days after graduation and life is strange. i am staying at an apartment that smells funny, isn't organized logically, and has too many ticking clocks. but i paid $200 to stay here and so i cant just leave. i am kind of nervous to meet my future husband...not as nervous as i am that i'll never meet him, or that i'll have to wait an insane amount of time to meet him, but still a little nervous. when will it be? where? do i know him already? i kinda hope not. what will he be like? will i mess it up? will he really think i am more beautiful than anyone else? must be less hard on myself -- open myself up to the possibility that someone could feel that way about me. i kinda can't wait, yet i value my freedom currently as well. when you stop and think about it, life is so freaky...always losing people, never knowing what the day holds, graduating and having your whole life change...so i try not to stop and think about it too much. it's weird being graduated and still being in newberg, hanging out with ogle and matt and nicole and such. it's like...a strange place of limbo...enjoying the company and security of my friends who are still here, but knowing in the back of my mind that very soon this too will change.

okay, back to the present now. some things are the same, some are different, and that, methinks, is just as it should be.