i made a new friend yesterday. his name is donald. he introduced me to a concept that i will surely carry with me for life: travel chocolate. you carry it around with you so that when you (or your travel companion) start getting hungry and cranky, you can whip it out and avert a crisis. even though we were just walking around central square, we got some travel chocolate. if you know me, you know i love chocolate, and any excuse to carry some with me is the best idea i've ever heard.
i'm so sleepy. today i'm going to dog sit my friend's dog, parisol. she is a boston bull terrier mix. this little exercise will theoretically help me decide if i really want to get a dog or not. i'm excited, because she is freaking adorable, but i'm worried that after today i won't want my own little doggie anymore.
last night i left work at 11:40 pm. i got to the bus station at midnight. the bus always takes about a year to come on sunday nights, so i settled in with my ipod to watch lost. i made it through an entire episode. i started another one. i was fading into exhaustion and frustration. soon it was almost 1 am. i started getting angry, having visions of myself calling the mbta and forcing them to pay for my cab fare that i was about to have to shell out. the bus showed up at 1:15 am. riding home, i felt less angry about it than usual. it was refreshing. earlier in the day, i had prayed that God would give his spirit, especially the fruits of his spirit. the patience and peace i was feeling certainly wasn't from me.
every minute that passes i think of another person i'm going to see that i don't want to talk to.
my friend, while waiting to leave for a college friend's birthday party
5.29.2006
5.16.2006
sharing umbrellas
it won't stop raining in boston. i don't get it. apparently it was almost 100 degrees yesterday in oregon. what is going on here, people? i did not sign up for this. i have cute new summer shoes and skirts and i want to wear them! i do not want to keep re-getting out my winter coats! first the winter lasts half the year, and now this!
every where i look i see couples. couples, couples, couples. snuggling on the bus. chatting it up on the subway. shopping for trendy clothes together at urban outfitters, hands intertwined. sharing umbrellas in harvard square. i try not to hate them, but sometimes i do. why do we hate people who we want to be?
there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of adorable indie semi-tatooed guys in cambridge. i see them every day. isn't there one for me?
every where i look i see couples. couples, couples, couples. snuggling on the bus. chatting it up on the subway. shopping for trendy clothes together at urban outfitters, hands intertwined. sharing umbrellas in harvard square. i try not to hate them, but sometimes i do. why do we hate people who we want to be?
there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of adorable indie semi-tatooed guys in cambridge. i see them every day. isn't there one for me?
5.06.2006
24 hour snapshot
10 pm, friday: just finished seeing blue man group with my school. freaking awesome! the best part was one of my students sitting next to me, a girl who is normally quite depressed, screaming with joy at the top of her lungs.
11 pm: out with my amazing new girl friends at the asgard in central square.
12 am: we are having a candid conversation about sex, relationships, and christian boys. i can't help but compare us to the sex and the city girls. especially since i'm wearing an outfit that has made me feel like carrie bradshaw all day.
1 am: heading home with sara, still talking about boys.
2 am - 8 am: sleeping
8 am: walking to the bus like a zombie, wearing three different pink patterns and feeling damn good about it.
9 am: arrive at work, discover the latest act of teenage defiance
10 am-4 pm: at work, dealing with the drama, trying helplessly to speak logic to hopeless teenage boys. exhausted and blowing my nose non-stop. discovering that claritin doesn't work on new england allergies.
4 pm: back on the bus, listening to music, tapping my pink shoes, drifting off to sleep...
5 pm-9 pm: napping
9 pm: eating ice cream, wasting time on the internet, trying to drudge up the motivation to clean the bomb of crap that is my room. instead, i stay in bed where it is safe.
10 pm: blogging it up. time to call my mommy.
11 pm: out with my amazing new girl friends at the asgard in central square.
12 am: we are having a candid conversation about sex, relationships, and christian boys. i can't help but compare us to the sex and the city girls. especially since i'm wearing an outfit that has made me feel like carrie bradshaw all day.
1 am: heading home with sara, still talking about boys.
2 am - 8 am: sleeping
8 am: walking to the bus like a zombie, wearing three different pink patterns and feeling damn good about it.
9 am: arrive at work, discover the latest act of teenage defiance
10 am-4 pm: at work, dealing with the drama, trying helplessly to speak logic to hopeless teenage boys. exhausted and blowing my nose non-stop. discovering that claritin doesn't work on new england allergies.
4 pm: back on the bus, listening to music, tapping my pink shoes, drifting off to sleep...
5 pm-9 pm: napping
9 pm: eating ice cream, wasting time on the internet, trying to drudge up the motivation to clean the bomb of crap that is my room. instead, i stay in bed where it is safe.
10 pm: blogging it up. time to call my mommy.
5.01.2006
melancholy: illuminated
everything is illuminated in the light of the past jonathan safran foer
if you haven't seen the movie everything is illuminated, please go do it right now. and if you still believe in love at all, but feel a bit jaded, you should watch walk the line after that. then listen to the new amsterdams. trust me, this is the formula for happiness.
yesterday i made art on the floor a la sabrina ward harrison with my new wonderful friend sarah. sabrina just came out with this journal, partially illustrated by her, that you can add your own words and images to. sarah and i are doing it together.
on saturday night i met a bunch of my friends from work who were all out drinking. by the time i got there they were all pretty wasted, and they were ridiculously excited to see me. it was pretty hilarious.
my best friend brian is taking his future wife nicole on a honeymoon to italy. apparently he told me this was a surprise. i obviously wasn't listening if he did because a few days ago i sent her an email that said, among other things, "i'm so excited for you to go to italy! you'll love it!" they had a good laugh. i didn't really think it was funny. oops.
in two months i am going home to oregon for a week. a month or two or three ago i really didn't think i could make it until july. i have been in boston for 8 months, and in july it will have been 10, and 6 months since i've been home. i should get some sort of medal. even if i don't, i'm really proud of myself.
on friday i went to the circus for the first time in my life. it was amazing. people were flying everywhere, catching each other while dogs did the can-can on their hind legs. i watched in awe and horror, stuffing cotton candy into my gaping mouth. i realized if i ever want to fly like i do in my dreams, i'm going to have to join the circus.
do you ever miss her? do you feel the cold wind whisper? is there anything more deafening? are you hanging on for hope? (who else?) the new amsterdams
if you haven't seen the movie everything is illuminated, please go do it right now. and if you still believe in love at all, but feel a bit jaded, you should watch walk the line after that. then listen to the new amsterdams. trust me, this is the formula for happiness.
yesterday i made art on the floor a la sabrina ward harrison with my new wonderful friend sarah. sabrina just came out with this journal, partially illustrated by her, that you can add your own words and images to. sarah and i are doing it together.
on saturday night i met a bunch of my friends from work who were all out drinking. by the time i got there they were all pretty wasted, and they were ridiculously excited to see me. it was pretty hilarious.
my best friend brian is taking his future wife nicole on a honeymoon to italy. apparently he told me this was a surprise. i obviously wasn't listening if he did because a few days ago i sent her an email that said, among other things, "i'm so excited for you to go to italy! you'll love it!" they had a good laugh. i didn't really think it was funny. oops.
in two months i am going home to oregon for a week. a month or two or three ago i really didn't think i could make it until july. i have been in boston for 8 months, and in july it will have been 10, and 6 months since i've been home. i should get some sort of medal. even if i don't, i'm really proud of myself.
on friday i went to the circus for the first time in my life. it was amazing. people were flying everywhere, catching each other while dogs did the can-can on their hind legs. i watched in awe and horror, stuffing cotton candy into my gaping mouth. i realized if i ever want to fly like i do in my dreams, i'm going to have to join the circus.
do you ever miss her? do you feel the cold wind whisper? is there anything more deafening? are you hanging on for hope? (who else?) the new amsterdams
4.24.2006
thwarted...again!
for the past few months, i have had a secret (and then not-so-secret) crush on an adorable boy with shocking red hair who works at the video store. every sunday at work, we rent a movie. every sunday, i see steven. we smile. we talk. i leave, grinning.
today, i decided after last night's familiarly exhilirating interaction, was the day i was going to take action. i was going to work up all my courage and ask him to hang out.
i had an appointment nearby the store early this afternoon, so as i walked by, i checked to see if he was working. he was. all alone at the counter, just waiting for me to ask him out. my nerves screamed at me...you can't do it! but my mind was made up. after the appointment, i had another one with steven.
i walked the long street back to the video store, growing increasingly nervous and nauseated. to make matters worse, i had a large bag of embarrassing items from the pharmacy. i felt like the delicious ham calzone i had just ate was on it's way back up. i cant. i can. i cant. i can. i cant. i will.
i looked through the window. there he was, with his adorable red hair and striped sweater. i paused at the corner, feeling like i was about to go onstage and i wasn't sure if i knew my lines. i took some deep breaths. i made some faces like i was being tortured. i swallowed hard, and i went in.
i turned in last night's movie. but i needed an excuse to go up to the counter. i scanned the new releases, the covers all blurry in front of my eyes. i read the backs of cases, but nothing registered. steven. steven. his eyes were boaring into the back of my head. i picked up the constant gardener, with some vague recollection of wanting to see it.
i stood in line. i said hello. how are you? i forgot how to rent a movie. i forgot i needed to pay. he was smiling. somehow i remembered what currency was and paid. do it. do it. he handed me my reciept. the moment was slipping away. the words were stuck in my throat. but i wasn't about to go through this again.
"hey...do you want to hang out sometime?" somehow i said it. i waited for the deadly blow.
"i would..."
but? but what? i have a girlfriend. i'm gay. i don't date people with bushy blonde hair. what would it be this time?
"...but i'm actually moving in a week. this is my last week at work."
it turns out he's moving to vermont. and then seattle. but i made him grin. i saw all of his crooked, pointy teeth.
"otherwise i definitely would." he kept smiling.
i smiled. i told him i thought that sucked. i might have laughed a little. he handed me my movie, and i left. mission: accomplished. result: thwarted...again! if he had said he was moving to california, i would have made him come out from behind the counter so i could kick him in the shin.
i spent the rest of the afternoon (and evening) shopping, willing myself to ask sooner next time, and thinking about steven's smile.
no one can possibly know what is about to happen. it is happening each time, for the first time, for the only time. james baldwin
today, i decided after last night's familiarly exhilirating interaction, was the day i was going to take action. i was going to work up all my courage and ask him to hang out.
i had an appointment nearby the store early this afternoon, so as i walked by, i checked to see if he was working. he was. all alone at the counter, just waiting for me to ask him out. my nerves screamed at me...you can't do it! but my mind was made up. after the appointment, i had another one with steven.
i walked the long street back to the video store, growing increasingly nervous and nauseated. to make matters worse, i had a large bag of embarrassing items from the pharmacy. i felt like the delicious ham calzone i had just ate was on it's way back up. i cant. i can. i cant. i can. i cant. i will.
i looked through the window. there he was, with his adorable red hair and striped sweater. i paused at the corner, feeling like i was about to go onstage and i wasn't sure if i knew my lines. i took some deep breaths. i made some faces like i was being tortured. i swallowed hard, and i went in.
i turned in last night's movie. but i needed an excuse to go up to the counter. i scanned the new releases, the covers all blurry in front of my eyes. i read the backs of cases, but nothing registered. steven. steven. his eyes were boaring into the back of my head. i picked up the constant gardener, with some vague recollection of wanting to see it.
i stood in line. i said hello. how are you? i forgot how to rent a movie. i forgot i needed to pay. he was smiling. somehow i remembered what currency was and paid. do it. do it. he handed me my reciept. the moment was slipping away. the words were stuck in my throat. but i wasn't about to go through this again.
"hey...do you want to hang out sometime?" somehow i said it. i waited for the deadly blow.
"i would..."
but? but what? i have a girlfriend. i'm gay. i don't date people with bushy blonde hair. what would it be this time?
"...but i'm actually moving in a week. this is my last week at work."
it turns out he's moving to vermont. and then seattle. but i made him grin. i saw all of his crooked, pointy teeth.
"otherwise i definitely would." he kept smiling.
i smiled. i told him i thought that sucked. i might have laughed a little. he handed me my movie, and i left. mission: accomplished. result: thwarted...again! if he had said he was moving to california, i would have made him come out from behind the counter so i could kick him in the shin.
i spent the rest of the afternoon (and evening) shopping, willing myself to ask sooner next time, and thinking about steven's smile.
no one can possibly know what is about to happen. it is happening each time, for the first time, for the only time. james baldwin
4.23.2006
4 33 26
lately i have been thinking about love/hate relationships, and the things i do that i really don't want to do/the things i don't do that i really want to do. i get these ideas in my head for collages, beautiful, inspiring collages, but i don't sit down and make them. instead i take long naps. i sleep in, and i find excuses. i want to sing in a band, to write songs about all the ways my heart is wrenched every day, but i don't. i think i'm not good enough, my words not original enough. and then there are the mistakes i make, the ones i know i should stop making, the behaviors i ultimately hate, but that part of me loves. life is full of so much contradiction, and so little balance.
i am officially a stylish city dweller as of last tuesday. i got an ipod. i remember when ipods were just out of my reach, and it was one of those things i wanted but never thought i'd really be able to get. thanks to the wonder of credit cards, that dream is now a reality. the best thing about my lovely white ipod (which perfectly matches my lovely white ibook) is that i bought a rainbow of little ipod crew socks to go with it. yes, i know, there are a lot of "i"s in this paragraph, a lot of "i"s in my heart, but i have a whole rationale about my new apple electronics that i will spare you, just know that it puts me at peace and doesn't make me feel so i-centered.
tonight i was riding the bus through cambridge, listening to matt nathanson on my ipod, which was wearing the lime green crew sock today, and it hit me. i can't freaking believe i live here. cambridge is the most amazing, surprising, eclectic, artistic city, and it is my city. i broke into a huge, ridiculous grin right there on the bus at 12:30 am and i asked God to help me remember what a gift it is to live here. almost four years ago, i visited boston to see my friend jen, and we took the t to cambridge, over a then unfamiliar bridge, to visit harvard. i was captivated by this town. it seemed like the kind of place i would love to live, but never would, a dream just out of my reach. as it turns out, sometimes the things we long for actually come true.
show me how pretty the world is...
tell me does the world revolve the same?
tell me do the people all take care of you
did you doubt the curve of the earth?
i'm covered by lovers
who recite lines
convinced that their bodies
are gonna save mine
but you don't know me at all
show me where the sun comes through the sky
i'll show you where the rain gets in
and i'll show you hurricanes
and the way that summer fades
underneath the weight of it all
show me how pretty the whole world is tonight
matt nathanson
you can ask me what the numbers mean, but i can't promise i'll tell you.
i am officially a stylish city dweller as of last tuesday. i got an ipod. i remember when ipods were just out of my reach, and it was one of those things i wanted but never thought i'd really be able to get. thanks to the wonder of credit cards, that dream is now a reality. the best thing about my lovely white ipod (which perfectly matches my lovely white ibook) is that i bought a rainbow of little ipod crew socks to go with it. yes, i know, there are a lot of "i"s in this paragraph, a lot of "i"s in my heart, but i have a whole rationale about my new apple electronics that i will spare you, just know that it puts me at peace and doesn't make me feel so i-centered.
tonight i was riding the bus through cambridge, listening to matt nathanson on my ipod, which was wearing the lime green crew sock today, and it hit me. i can't freaking believe i live here. cambridge is the most amazing, surprising, eclectic, artistic city, and it is my city. i broke into a huge, ridiculous grin right there on the bus at 12:30 am and i asked God to help me remember what a gift it is to live here. almost four years ago, i visited boston to see my friend jen, and we took the t to cambridge, over a then unfamiliar bridge, to visit harvard. i was captivated by this town. it seemed like the kind of place i would love to live, but never would, a dream just out of my reach. as it turns out, sometimes the things we long for actually come true.
show me how pretty the world is...
tell me does the world revolve the same?
tell me do the people all take care of you
did you doubt the curve of the earth?
i'm covered by lovers
who recite lines
convinced that their bodies
are gonna save mine
but you don't know me at all
show me where the sun comes through the sky
i'll show you where the rain gets in
and i'll show you hurricanes
and the way that summer fades
underneath the weight of it all
show me how pretty the whole world is tonight
matt nathanson
you can ask me what the numbers mean, but i can't promise i'll tell you.
4.10.2006
the whole truth and nothing but?
i have encountered some people recently (don't worry, i'm not talking about any of you, i don't give my blog address to jerks) who think that as long as they are saying what they believe to be the truth, it doesn't matter how they say it, or if it's rude. it's the truth, dammit, and they are going to share it with no regard for the emotional consequences. and the worst part is, when you try and share with them how it made you feel, they just don't get it. how could the truth be rude? how could what i think not be the truth? how could i have come to the wrong conclusions?
i think i used to think a little like them, i'm ashamed to say. i have a big mouth, and i have an extremely hard time keeping information to myself, so i think i have to tell everyone everything. but i am discovering the joy of keeping some choice morsels to myself, or only sharing them with one person. i'm learning that sometimes not sharing is the best idea, and it can feel much more powerful than vomiting out all of your deepest thoughts and secrets. strangely enough, it's harder for me to hold back then to it is for me to go for it. at least in some areas of my life.
i'm acquiring a lovely collection of music on my lovely white computer. i like putting itunes on random and letting the soundtrack flow. here are some lyrics have been grabbing at my heart lately...
and it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time... death cab for cutie
nothing hurts when i go to sleep... ben folds
not talking about a year, or maybe three or four
i don't want that kind of forever in my life anymore
forever always seems to be around when it begins
but forever never seems to be around when it ends... ben harper
i think i used to think a little like them, i'm ashamed to say. i have a big mouth, and i have an extremely hard time keeping information to myself, so i think i have to tell everyone everything. but i am discovering the joy of keeping some choice morsels to myself, or only sharing them with one person. i'm learning that sometimes not sharing is the best idea, and it can feel much more powerful than vomiting out all of your deepest thoughts and secrets. strangely enough, it's harder for me to hold back then to it is for me to go for it. at least in some areas of my life.
i'm acquiring a lovely collection of music on my lovely white computer. i like putting itunes on random and letting the soundtrack flow. here are some lyrics have been grabbing at my heart lately...
and it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time... death cab for cutie
nothing hurts when i go to sleep... ben folds
not talking about a year, or maybe three or four
i don't want that kind of forever in my life anymore
forever always seems to be around when it begins
but forever never seems to be around when it ends... ben harper
4.02.2006
chipped red nail polish
i've had a rough couple of days.
first, i went out dancing on thursday night. that was great, and the only reason i mention it here is because when i dance like that, i exhaust myself.
so friday, i was exhausted. i was riding the bus when my friend called, and he wanted to talk about something kind of difficult. since i have manners (unlike some of the other people i ride the bus with) i did not have the conversation on the bus. instead i had to postpone it until the next night, which annoyed me to say the least.
work on friday night was crazy. one of our girls was really acting up, and i knew it was only going to continue to escalate on saturday, and i had to be back at work at 8:30 that morning. unfortunately i was right and i had to call the police due to her behavior. it was a little scary.
so saturday night, i was too exhausted to go out. so i napped and waited for the awkward phone call. it came around midnight. afterwards, i had a hard time going to sleep.
while walking to church this morning, i was congratulating myself on only being 15 minutes late. then i looked at my cell phone. as if by some evil black magic, the time had changed, and suddenly i was an hour and 15 minutes late. then it hit me like a ton of bricks (i love cliche metaphors). i had forgotten about stupid daylight savings time, just like i'd predicted i would.
so i missed the entire service. i loitered around the lobby looking for friends, located some, and spent a nice, quirky afternoon with them. we had a dollar store gift exchange. i got a loofah.
then it was back to work, where i recieved the rudest email i have ever read in my entire life. that was unpleasant, to say the least. then, to top it all off, i was sitting on the office floor and the nastiest bug i've seen in awhile (it was kind of see-through and had about a hundred legs) went scurrying by me. i attempted to smash it with my shoe while screaming, then didn't see it on the bottom of my shoe, then saw it on the side of my shoe and kicked my shoe off across the room, which landed on my bag, making me think the bug body was now in my bag. i conducted a thorough search and i never found the body. excellent.
a little fyi for all the male life of liz blog readers: women do not want to know the name of the other woman. the one you left us for, the one you dated before us, the one you like more than us. we would prefer her to remain a nameless, faceless entity. and she doesn't want to know our name, either.
those are ridiculously surprising shoes. my friend john, when he looked down and noticed my gold ballet flats in church today
first, i went out dancing on thursday night. that was great, and the only reason i mention it here is because when i dance like that, i exhaust myself.
so friday, i was exhausted. i was riding the bus when my friend called, and he wanted to talk about something kind of difficult. since i have manners (unlike some of the other people i ride the bus with) i did not have the conversation on the bus. instead i had to postpone it until the next night, which annoyed me to say the least.
work on friday night was crazy. one of our girls was really acting up, and i knew it was only going to continue to escalate on saturday, and i had to be back at work at 8:30 that morning. unfortunately i was right and i had to call the police due to her behavior. it was a little scary.
so saturday night, i was too exhausted to go out. so i napped and waited for the awkward phone call. it came around midnight. afterwards, i had a hard time going to sleep.
while walking to church this morning, i was congratulating myself on only being 15 minutes late. then i looked at my cell phone. as if by some evil black magic, the time had changed, and suddenly i was an hour and 15 minutes late. then it hit me like a ton of bricks (i love cliche metaphors). i had forgotten about stupid daylight savings time, just like i'd predicted i would.
so i missed the entire service. i loitered around the lobby looking for friends, located some, and spent a nice, quirky afternoon with them. we had a dollar store gift exchange. i got a loofah.
then it was back to work, where i recieved the rudest email i have ever read in my entire life. that was unpleasant, to say the least. then, to top it all off, i was sitting on the office floor and the nastiest bug i've seen in awhile (it was kind of see-through and had about a hundred legs) went scurrying by me. i attempted to smash it with my shoe while screaming, then didn't see it on the bottom of my shoe, then saw it on the side of my shoe and kicked my shoe off across the room, which landed on my bag, making me think the bug body was now in my bag. i conducted a thorough search and i never found the body. excellent.
a little fyi for all the male life of liz blog readers: women do not want to know the name of the other woman. the one you left us for, the one you dated before us, the one you like more than us. we would prefer her to remain a nameless, faceless entity. and she doesn't want to know our name, either.
those are ridiculously surprising shoes. my friend john, when he looked down and noticed my gold ballet flats in church today
4.01.2006
surprise!
surprise!
like a thief in the night
you left me
sobbing, crying
in rows of target bathing suits
motorcycle drive by
all alone
ribs ripped open
heart exposed
beating, throbbing
i want to hurt
in any way but this
but underneath your black
get up kids t, it is
still steady
singing, painting
suddenly
you return
to the scene of the crime
orange sweater and fall out boy
do me a favor
and give me a little warning
next time
like a thief in the night
you left me
sobbing, crying
in rows of target bathing suits
motorcycle drive by
all alone
ribs ripped open
heart exposed
beating, throbbing
i want to hurt
in any way but this
but underneath your black
get up kids t, it is
still steady
singing, painting
suddenly
you return
to the scene of the crime
orange sweater and fall out boy
do me a favor
and give me a little warning
next time
patterns
in the last six months, i have met and briefly dated two guys who were moving back to California.
once i start watching an episode of a crime drama or a reality show, i can't stop til the end.
since moving to boston, i have been in two car accidents, gotten one ticket, and been towed once, and bent my axle sliding into a curb in the snow.
my last two boyfriends were named matt.
even numbers from 0 to 10: i was born on 2.2.82. i graduated high school on 6.2.2000. i turned 20 on 02.02.2002. i am now 24.
i cant stop listening to the song "from california" by the new amsterdams.
i tend to naughty things when i go out dancing.
the only part of the paper i read is the living/arts section, aka the 'sidekick' in the boston globe.
my serious crushes from my junior year of high school through my sophomore year of college all had three-letter names (cam, jon, tim).
i'm obsessed with taking pictures of grafitti and stickers.
whenever i see something potentially interesting on the ground, i pick it up. if it is indeed interesting, i keep it. if not, i put it back where i found it.
if a song hurts my heart, i listen to it again and again. i like sad songs.
i stay up too late and hate getting out of my bed.
i have a chronic tardiness problem.
i buy cheap, super trendy flats from payless that i think are ugly two months later.
whenever i see a baby or toddler, i squeal, stare, and make funny faces at it.
when i get off work at midnight, i call my best friend brian to shoot the breeze. it's only 9 pm in oregon.
once i start watching an episode of a crime drama or a reality show, i can't stop til the end.
since moving to boston, i have been in two car accidents, gotten one ticket, and been towed once, and bent my axle sliding into a curb in the snow.
my last two boyfriends were named matt.
even numbers from 0 to 10: i was born on 2.2.82. i graduated high school on 6.2.2000. i turned 20 on 02.02.2002. i am now 24.
i cant stop listening to the song "from california" by the new amsterdams.
i tend to naughty things when i go out dancing.
the only part of the paper i read is the living/arts section, aka the 'sidekick' in the boston globe.
my serious crushes from my junior year of high school through my sophomore year of college all had three-letter names (cam, jon, tim).
i'm obsessed with taking pictures of grafitti and stickers.
whenever i see something potentially interesting on the ground, i pick it up. if it is indeed interesting, i keep it. if not, i put it back where i found it.
if a song hurts my heart, i listen to it again and again. i like sad songs.
i stay up too late and hate getting out of my bed.
i have a chronic tardiness problem.
i buy cheap, super trendy flats from payless that i think are ugly two months later.
whenever i see a baby or toddler, i squeal, stare, and make funny faces at it.
when i get off work at midnight, i call my best friend brian to shoot the breeze. it's only 9 pm in oregon.
3.26.2006
my 100th post!
i made a mistake when i sold my car. i know that now, in every fiber of my being. i know it when it takes me an hour and a half to get to a friend's house that lives two towns over. i know it when i wait 30 minutes for the bus in freezing temperatures. i know it when i cant escape the crappy music coming out of a fellow passengers ipod who clearly has hearing damage. i know it when i have to listen to a stranger shout about her ovaries into her cell phone. i know it when it takes me an hour to get to work and it used to take me ten minutes. and most of all, i know it when i lose my $71 bus and subway pass a week before the month is over and i have to walk twenty minutes to the bus station at midnight to wait for the bus that is coming who knows when and i get hit on by an extremely creepy guy with bad breath. it's 12:15 am. i've been working for 8 hours and i'm tired. i'm sitting on a cement bench in the bus tunnel of harvard station, reading my abnormal psychology textbook, minding my own sleepy business, when a lanky, poorly dressed fellow approaches and asks for the time. i tell him. he introduces himself, i oblige and tell him my name. "liz is my favorite name," he tells me, as if i am somehow supposed to believe him. "you have pretty hair," he continues, telling me the number one thing i get told by creepy strangers on public transportation. he sits down next to me. too close next to me. he smells. i try to be nice, yet send a clear signal. "i work at legal seafoods," he volunteers. "i don't like seafood, " i reply, and attempt to go on reading about the three different types of suicide according to the sociocultural model. it doesn't work. he keeps talking. and i keep silently pleading for my bus to come, for his bus to come, for him to go away. finally, his bus comes, and he goes in for the handshake, and the inevitable question: "do you have a boyfriend?" "yes," i reply. his name is mr. right. and when he shows up, he's going to kick your ass.
3.21.2006
spring?
yesterday i was looking at my calendar and i noticed it said "first day of spring." i laughed out loud. i am sorry, but when it is 30 degrees outside and i still have to wear long johns under my pants, it is not spring. then i was looking at plane tickets, and i discovered it was 54 degrees in oregon yesterday! 54 beautiful, warm degrees! i take back what i said about oregon not having a mild climate anymore. that was before i moved to boston, where winter lasts for at least five months! i cant take it anymore, i tell you!
so i'm walking to the bus this morning, running late for class of course, and i notice it feels a hair warmer. we're talking two degrees here, but it's something. and the sky is a brillant shade of blue. the pink lenses on my sunglasses make it even bluer, but now i'm splitting hairs. but then, even though i was hauling down the street, i noticed something i couldnt make an excuse for: poking up out of the dirt behind someone's chain link fence, were crocuses! little, erupting flower buds, chirping at me that spring is here. the deadness of winter is finally ending.
so i'm walking to the bus this morning, running late for class of course, and i notice it feels a hair warmer. we're talking two degrees here, but it's something. and the sky is a brillant shade of blue. the pink lenses on my sunglasses make it even bluer, but now i'm splitting hairs. but then, even though i was hauling down the street, i noticed something i couldnt make an excuse for: poking up out of the dirt behind someone's chain link fence, were crocuses! little, erupting flower buds, chirping at me that spring is here. the deadness of winter is finally ending.
3.18.2006
confessions of a loser
it's saturday night in a very happening city. how did i spend it, you might ask? well, in the spirit of openess and honesty, and in the hope that there are other losers reading this who might feel better about themselves after realizing that ultra cool people such as myself are actually total losers as well...
i spent tonight at home. alone. watching the cutting edge on the abc family channel. now that in itself isn't so bad. the cutting edge is a classic 90's flick, and i see nothing wrong with embracing my love of the 90's and figure skating, as well as cheesy, predictable romantic movies every once in awhile. maybe preferably on, say, a tuesday night, but oh well. see, the thing is, after i watched the cutting edge, i went ahead and watched the cutting edge 2: going for the gold, a new abc family original movie which came on right afterwards. the fact that the people at abc would decide to make a sequel ten years later of a movie that couldn't have been all that successful in the first place just proves my theory that hollywood is clean out of original (and not to mention quality) ideas. but then, of course, i did watch it. i don't know if you've seen the original, but in the sequel, the two main stars of the first movie are now married and have a figure skating daughter, played by the chick who used to be on even stevens on the disney channel. and of course her parents aren't played by the original stars, which goes to show that at least two people in hollywood have some integrity, or maybe are just involved in other crappy projects (moira kelly is on one tree hill, after all). anyway, she ends up changing to pairs skating and is so stuck up that the only person she can get to be her partner is a former roller blader that she once romanced in california. they fight, they fall in love, they deny it until their last skate at the olympics, they get the gold, they get each other, the plot follows the exact same outline as the original, yadda yadda blah blah blah. and i sat through the whole entire poorly acted thing. on a saturday night. in boston.
why does it seem that i have to be a lonely loser to keep from being a rebellious wrong-doer? surely their must be a balance somewhere.
i spent tonight at home. alone. watching the cutting edge on the abc family channel. now that in itself isn't so bad. the cutting edge is a classic 90's flick, and i see nothing wrong with embracing my love of the 90's and figure skating, as well as cheesy, predictable romantic movies every once in awhile. maybe preferably on, say, a tuesday night, but oh well. see, the thing is, after i watched the cutting edge, i went ahead and watched the cutting edge 2: going for the gold, a new abc family original movie which came on right afterwards. the fact that the people at abc would decide to make a sequel ten years later of a movie that couldn't have been all that successful in the first place just proves my theory that hollywood is clean out of original (and not to mention quality) ideas. but then, of course, i did watch it. i don't know if you've seen the original, but in the sequel, the two main stars of the first movie are now married and have a figure skating daughter, played by the chick who used to be on even stevens on the disney channel. and of course her parents aren't played by the original stars, which goes to show that at least two people in hollywood have some integrity, or maybe are just involved in other crappy projects (moira kelly is on one tree hill, after all). anyway, she ends up changing to pairs skating and is so stuck up that the only person she can get to be her partner is a former roller blader that she once romanced in california. they fight, they fall in love, they deny it until their last skate at the olympics, they get the gold, they get each other, the plot follows the exact same outline as the original, yadda yadda blah blah blah. and i sat through the whole entire poorly acted thing. on a saturday night. in boston.
why does it seem that i have to be a lonely loser to keep from being a rebellious wrong-doer? surely their must be a balance somewhere.
3.11.2006
the fuel of love
it is a new month, and a new me. kidding. as i am discovering lately, i am still very much the old me, the making-mistakes me, the me that God only protects so much until he lets me make my own, wrong decisions. and then what happens? guilt. questions. more guilt. is guilt from God? i was talking with my friend john last night and he doesn't think it usually is. and i like that idea. his point was this: what motivates us more, God making us feel guilty or God loving us? for sure, at least for me, it's answer b. because i've been feeling guilty lately, and let me tell you, it is not very motivating. all it makes me want to do is give in to my rebellion, embrace my struggles and make more mistakes. guilt makes me feel hopeless. but God's love? his never-changing, unconditional, full of grace love? now that moves me. that makes me want to change. and best of all, it makes me feel like i can change. all hope is not lost. i guess the tricky part is letting yourself accept it, his love, i mean. because when i make i make a mistake, the last thing i want to let myself feel is his love. i don't deserve it. i deserve to be punished. and i guess that is how satan gets us. first he tempts us into sin, then he tells us after that we don't deserve to be with God, to have his love. it's quite clever, actually. satan doesn't want us to be with God. God would never be telling us to stay away until we're done feeling crappy about our sin. he wants to be with us, the real us, right now, whether we feel like we deserve it or not.
the laziest man will swim the English Channel for the woman he loves. the love of God is the only thing that can give us enough fuel to overcome sin. don miller
the laziest man will swim the English Channel for the woman he loves. the love of God is the only thing that can give us enough fuel to overcome sin. don miller
2.25.2006
talking in cars with boys
after work a couple of weeks ago, i noticed that mojo music was closing, and offering 50% off its merchandise. a record collector's paradise? i think yes. i couldn't help going in and embracing the familiar comfort of sifting through the musty bins of albums, searching for treasures. my favorite find? a metallic silver blue edition of carly simon's anticipation. above both of the doors in my room i have a revolving display of my favorite album covers, and i carefully selected new displays that day, thinking of my feelings lately and making sure to leave a place for carly. my front door is my "i cant wait for spring and summer and happiness" door, and it features the beach boys' endless summer, the beach boys' california girls, and frank sinatra's come fly with me. in july, i'm flying home with frank to oregon and i can't wait. then there's my closet door, representing my more brooding and current state. first comes james taylor's sweet baby james, posters of which surely graced girls' bedrooms in the 70s because he was hot hot hot. on the other side is carole king's tapestry, a classic that i recently decided one can never have enough copies of (i have three). then, in the middle, is my theme, my thesis, my carly. the day i put it up i wrote this in my journal...
"...i am carly. and you should see her on this album: bold, gorgeous, STRONG, open, vulnerable. she is saying, 'i've been through shit but i still want love. i'm waiting, i'm ready, bring it.' her body, her face, her stance and pose scream ANTICIPATION. ANTICIPATION. beautiful, wonderful, scary, lonely, brave, trusting, anticipation. what is coming next?"
lately i keep finding myself in my driveway or on my street, sitting in the warm car of whomever has been nice enough to drive me home, just talking. they don't turn off the engine, but they don't seem in a hurry. even if it's late late late, we keep talking and laughing and hashing out the insides of our hearts. or we just sit and listen to the music that's too good to get out of the car to. these times with my three guy friends have been lovely unexpected treasures at the end of busy, ordinary days, and they remind me of this feeling i have lately, the feeling that something is just around the bend, something amazing.
is there anything better than to be longing for something when you know it is within reach? greta garbo
"...i am carly. and you should see her on this album: bold, gorgeous, STRONG, open, vulnerable. she is saying, 'i've been through shit but i still want love. i'm waiting, i'm ready, bring it.' her body, her face, her stance and pose scream ANTICIPATION. ANTICIPATION. beautiful, wonderful, scary, lonely, brave, trusting, anticipation. what is coming next?"
lately i keep finding myself in my driveway or on my street, sitting in the warm car of whomever has been nice enough to drive me home, just talking. they don't turn off the engine, but they don't seem in a hurry. even if it's late late late, we keep talking and laughing and hashing out the insides of our hearts. or we just sit and listen to the music that's too good to get out of the car to. these times with my three guy friends have been lovely unexpected treasures at the end of busy, ordinary days, and they remind me of this feeling i have lately, the feeling that something is just around the bend, something amazing.
is there anything better than to be longing for something when you know it is within reach? greta garbo
2.24.2006
buzzed blogging
i am going to try something new. in the spirit of "drunk dialing" i bring you "buzzed blogging." yes, i am a christian and sometimes i have too much to drink. that might sound worse than it is...see, i have recently (tonight) determined that all that lies between sober me and drunk me is one measley cosmopolitan. yeah, i have no clue if i spelled measley right. i'm going to guess no. so anyway, yes, tonight i went out with my roomate and i had that cosmo and i actually learned a lesson. it's weird...i feel like before, God was letting me make mistakes, and now that i've learned some lessons from the school of hard knocks (wow, i hate that phrase), it's like he's protecting me more. don't get me wrong, i know i am ultimately responsible for my mistakes, but it's like God knows what i really want now and he knows how weak i am meanwhile and he's helping a brother (or sister, in my case) out. oh, but back to the lesson i learned. yeah, that wasn't it. the lesson of tonight is: it is possible to hang out with a bunch of cool guys, flirt a little, and not cause any permanent damage. i did that tonight and i didn't end up with a relationship, a hook-up, or any regrets. but that goes back to the God is protecting me thing. i guess what i'm really trying to say is you can go out and have fun and it doesn't always have to mean something. it doesn't always have to lead to something. lower your expectations a little, and let it be enough that you are enjoying tonight, showing a couple of guys named alex what a crappy pool player you are.
2.11.2006
close encounters
since i last wrote a mere 11 days ago, 6 things from my "things i'm looking forward to" list have happened. not bad! i used my T pass. it ruled. swipedy-swipe swipe swipe! that's me with my T pass! i got my massive tax refund. and we're talking massive. we're talking i almost crapped my pants when i saw my checking balance. i got my birthday package from my mommy in the mail. it was full of lovely sweet things which i opened while talking to my mom on the phone the morning of my birthday. this wasn't on my list, but it should have been: i survived my birthday. now i just have to make it through valentine's day. i spent a ridiculous amount of money on a new pair of shoes, black wedges with wood soles, wore them out, had to take them off 'cause they hurt so bad. function over fashion my ass! and, yesterday, i got brian's mp3 player in the mail. walking down the streets and being able to choose my soundtrack brings me great joy. and finally, my next crush...
it's a tuesday night. freezing cold. i'm riding the T to a small group from my new church. the group is supposed to be artsy-fartsy, and co-ed. artsy...good, co-ed, bad. or good. or bad. like i always do on the T, i'm checking out the peops. okay, fine, i'm checking out the guys. we pull into a station, and three attractive twenty-somethings walk into the car, one of whom is a very handsome male who stands right in front of me and grabs the pole attached to my seat. he reaches into his bag. he pulls out a book. it looks remarkably like...no! could it be? it is! he just whipped out a bible! so here's this hot guy, standing right in front of me on the T, reading the bible! i contemplate making some sort of move...then he starts talking to his friends about how they are going to a small group! and i think...could they be going to MY artsy-fartsy co-ed small group? could it be? i'm about to ask them...something...and then they get off, disappear right out the doors they came in, and he is gone. i feel strangely cheated. i get to the small group. he is not there. but someone even hotter is. i tell my new friends the story of hot bible boy. they laugh. i spend most of the night thoroughly enjoying the company of these amazing, creative people, people i can hardly believe are christians. not because they behave in some "sinful" way, but because they aren't stereotypical, they're creative, and they're not afraid to admit their faults and struggles. i spend the other part of the night staring at the hot guy, a new crush developing beyond my control. this guy is completely out of my league. he must have a girlfriend. how could this guy not have a girlfriend? he is wearing amazing shoes, which is always the green light for a new crush in my book. this is why a co-ed small group is a bad idea. but this is also why i have hope. what did i learn from this night of close encounters with christian hotties? that they are out there, that's what. and one of them has got my name written on him, in huge, metaphorical letters.
it's a tuesday night. freezing cold. i'm riding the T to a small group from my new church. the group is supposed to be artsy-fartsy, and co-ed. artsy...good, co-ed, bad. or good. or bad. like i always do on the T, i'm checking out the peops. okay, fine, i'm checking out the guys. we pull into a station, and three attractive twenty-somethings walk into the car, one of whom is a very handsome male who stands right in front of me and grabs the pole attached to my seat. he reaches into his bag. he pulls out a book. it looks remarkably like...no! could it be? it is! he just whipped out a bible! so here's this hot guy, standing right in front of me on the T, reading the bible! i contemplate making some sort of move...then he starts talking to his friends about how they are going to a small group! and i think...could they be going to MY artsy-fartsy co-ed small group? could it be? i'm about to ask them...something...and then they get off, disappear right out the doors they came in, and he is gone. i feel strangely cheated. i get to the small group. he is not there. but someone even hotter is. i tell my new friends the story of hot bible boy. they laugh. i spend most of the night thoroughly enjoying the company of these amazing, creative people, people i can hardly believe are christians. not because they behave in some "sinful" way, but because they aren't stereotypical, they're creative, and they're not afraid to admit their faults and struggles. i spend the other part of the night staring at the hot guy, a new crush developing beyond my control. this guy is completely out of my league. he must have a girlfriend. how could this guy not have a girlfriend? he is wearing amazing shoes, which is always the green light for a new crush in my book. this is why a co-ed small group is a bad idea. but this is also why i have hope. what did i learn from this night of close encounters with christian hotties? that they are out there, that's what. and one of them has got my name written on him, in huge, metaphorical letters.
1.31.2006
when will winter end already?
things i'm looking forward to:
1. brian and nicole's wedding in july...i'm going to be a bridesmaid and go home for a whole week!
2. my mommy visiting me next month
3. using my brand-new combo bus/subway pass tomorrow and no longer making sure my wallet is stocked with $1 bills
4. getting my massive tax refund
5. getting a mac laptop with my very own wireless!
6. SUMMER
7. holding "my" new baby boys
8. my next crush
9. starting grad school
10. a birthday package from my mom in the mail
11. being debt-free
12. following a budget
13. my next pair of new shoes
14. buying and wearing red tights
15. not being cold
16. feeling settled
17. finding out if i need glasses
18. brian's mp3 player coming in the mail
19. having a baby
20. seeing season 2 of lost
1. brian and nicole's wedding in july...i'm going to be a bridesmaid and go home for a whole week!
2. my mommy visiting me next month
3. using my brand-new combo bus/subway pass tomorrow and no longer making sure my wallet is stocked with $1 bills
4. getting my massive tax refund
5. getting a mac laptop with my very own wireless!
6. SUMMER
7. holding "my" new baby boys
8. my next crush
9. starting grad school
10. a birthday package from my mom in the mail
11. being debt-free
12. following a budget
13. my next pair of new shoes
14. buying and wearing red tights
15. not being cold
16. feeling settled
17. finding out if i need glasses
18. brian's mp3 player coming in the mail
19. having a baby
20. seeing season 2 of lost
1.29.2006
alone, alive
last week i lost a couple of things that were important to me.
tuesday: car
thursday: boyfriend
so i guess you could say i had a hard week. there's nothing quite like living in a city for four months and then suddenly feeling like you just moved there all over again. i mean, that's not entirely true, i have friends and a great job and all that jazz, but there was a moment last week where i felt more alone than i have ever felt in my entire life. yeah, that was a crappy moment.
from the night it happened, under the wrenching pain of a broken heart, i saw it for what it really was: a much-needed chance to start over, to get back on the right path, to finally put an end to the shenannagins. i felt God saying to me, "there you go. i made the decision for you, solved your problem, and now you can get on with your life." and for the first time in a few years, i actually WANTED to. i wanted to stop pushing the boundaries of what God wants for me, and ultimately, what i want for myself. i've tried out the other way, and i've found it lacking.
the problem i am now facing is a little thing called the interim. this all sounded fine and good last week, when the emotions were fresh and my resolve was strong. but now i'm lonely and depressed. i guess i'm going through the grief cycles or some crap. i find myself thinking very angry thoughts while walking down the street...angry thoughts mostly aimed at the exBF and random couples passing me. so, my worry is i won't stay strong in the time until "the right one" comes along, which my cynical mood of late causes me to ask "is there really such a thing?"
when matt and i first started dating, he made me a mix CD. little did he know at the time that one of the songs on it would become the soundtrack to our breakup, at least in my mind. it was stuck in my head for a week after thursday, and i found myself marveling at how perfectly it described the situation and begging it to go away.
summer time and the wind is blowing...and i don't know what i'm doing in this city...and that's when i knew, that i could never have you...i knew that before you did...now i'm the one who's stupid...i hope you take a piece of me with you...and there's things i'd like to do that you don't believe in...and this will be the last time we'll be friends again...i'll get over you and you'll wonder who i am...and there is this burning like there's always been...i've never been so alone and i've never been so alive
third eye blind, motorcycle drive by
tuesday: car
thursday: boyfriend
so i guess you could say i had a hard week. there's nothing quite like living in a city for four months and then suddenly feeling like you just moved there all over again. i mean, that's not entirely true, i have friends and a great job and all that jazz, but there was a moment last week where i felt more alone than i have ever felt in my entire life. yeah, that was a crappy moment.
from the night it happened, under the wrenching pain of a broken heart, i saw it for what it really was: a much-needed chance to start over, to get back on the right path, to finally put an end to the shenannagins. i felt God saying to me, "there you go. i made the decision for you, solved your problem, and now you can get on with your life." and for the first time in a few years, i actually WANTED to. i wanted to stop pushing the boundaries of what God wants for me, and ultimately, what i want for myself. i've tried out the other way, and i've found it lacking.
the problem i am now facing is a little thing called the interim. this all sounded fine and good last week, when the emotions were fresh and my resolve was strong. but now i'm lonely and depressed. i guess i'm going through the grief cycles or some crap. i find myself thinking very angry thoughts while walking down the street...angry thoughts mostly aimed at the exBF and random couples passing me. so, my worry is i won't stay strong in the time until "the right one" comes along, which my cynical mood of late causes me to ask "is there really such a thing?"
when matt and i first started dating, he made me a mix CD. little did he know at the time that one of the songs on it would become the soundtrack to our breakup, at least in my mind. it was stuck in my head for a week after thursday, and i found myself marveling at how perfectly it described the situation and begging it to go away.
summer time and the wind is blowing...and i don't know what i'm doing in this city...and that's when i knew, that i could never have you...i knew that before you did...now i'm the one who's stupid...i hope you take a piece of me with you...and there's things i'd like to do that you don't believe in...and this will be the last time we'll be friends again...i'll get over you and you'll wonder who i am...and there is this burning like there's always been...i've never been so alone and i've never been so alive
third eye blind, motorcycle drive by
1.02.2006
post-christmas carnage report
i am sitting in my car typing on my roomate's laptop, staring longingly at my front door, but unable to go inside. why? because someone left the gas stove on all night and now our apartment is full of gas. i have been wandering town, aimless and exhausted, for the last three hours. adding to my frustration is the fact that every business is closed in observance of new year's day, not allowing me to take care of the phone calls on my to do list. all i want to do is go inside and sleep, but i'm afraid i'll never wake up or wake up on fire. woe is me.
i am a magnet for insane people. that is the only explanation i can come up with to justify the crazy interactions i have been having with some of my fellow humans lately. a couple of weeks ago, i was brutally cussed out and verbally assaulted by a stranger on the streets of cambridge, because i walked ever-so slightly in front of her friend's stroller. i'm pretty sure i would have gotten my ass kicked had i been drawn in by her shouts of "turn around when i'm talking to you, bitch!" but luckily i maintained my composure and ignored her. then there were the girls in the back of the bus a few weeks back. i was already severely traumatized by having to wait outside in 20 degree weather for an hour for the bus, which was of course extremely crowded. i managed to find a seat next to a very outspoken girl in the back, next to all of her very outspoken friends. they sat across from me, pulling brand-new scandalous underwear and patterned socks out of thier shopping bags, ripping off the tags, and throwing them violently on the bus floor while muttering, "stupid bitch bus driver, i dont give a BEEP if i mess up your bus..." i stared in awe, trying to pretend like it was normal every day behavior, while the girl next to me annouced she missed her wife and slid her arm around the back of my seat. then they all started talking about some club they go to to bump and grind, and then the outspoken girl next to me blurts out one of, if not the, all time best stranger quotes i have ever heard: "everyone who goes into that club either comes out pregnant or a lesbian. and i came out both." holy crap, my brain screamed, as i tried my best to act nonchalant until i finally got my chance to bolt off the bus to safety.
this is just a sampling of the most extreme people i have encountered. there was also the classic "inconsiderate cell phone woman" on the bus who shouted for all to hear, "i told you! i get to keep my left ovary! they're taking out the right one!" and someday, if i have the energy, i will tell you about rita, the crazy woman who is trying to buy my car online. i thought autotrader.com was a pretty safe place, but it turns out by posting your car there, you are actually applying for a possibly illegal middleman position in international business. intrigued? confused? so am i.
on a lighter note, my life has been significantly enhanced by a magazine i found recently...FOUND magazine. people send in random letters, photos, and strange randomness that they find, and it is the most fascinating thing ever. i am hooked. since starting to read it, i have been keeping my eyes to the ground, and i have already found some interesting finds. the best were several crates of abandoned albums outside of one of cambridge's many record stores. i sat right down on the wet sidewalk and helped myself to the mountain of treasure, and realized for the hundredth time why i love this city.
and now, the moment you all have been waiting for...the post-christmas carnage report! it turns out the online wish list was a brillant idea, and i made quite a killing! as i said before, i got my label maker, my computer saavy (and just saavy in general) uncle got me the queen size blue blanket, i got sweaters, socks and underwear, of course, and my mommy got me a really warm, really long, really thick scarf. since that worked out so well, keep your eyes peeled for my grown up birthday list, coming soon to a blog near you.
www.foundmagazine.com go there! i guarantee you will be moved, inspired, and intrigued.
i am a magnet for insane people. that is the only explanation i can come up with to justify the crazy interactions i have been having with some of my fellow humans lately. a couple of weeks ago, i was brutally cussed out and verbally assaulted by a stranger on the streets of cambridge, because i walked ever-so slightly in front of her friend's stroller. i'm pretty sure i would have gotten my ass kicked had i been drawn in by her shouts of "turn around when i'm talking to you, bitch!" but luckily i maintained my composure and ignored her. then there were the girls in the back of the bus a few weeks back. i was already severely traumatized by having to wait outside in 20 degree weather for an hour for the bus, which was of course extremely crowded. i managed to find a seat next to a very outspoken girl in the back, next to all of her very outspoken friends. they sat across from me, pulling brand-new scandalous underwear and patterned socks out of thier shopping bags, ripping off the tags, and throwing them violently on the bus floor while muttering, "stupid bitch bus driver, i dont give a BEEP if i mess up your bus..." i stared in awe, trying to pretend like it was normal every day behavior, while the girl next to me annouced she missed her wife and slid her arm around the back of my seat. then they all started talking about some club they go to to bump and grind, and then the outspoken girl next to me blurts out one of, if not the, all time best stranger quotes i have ever heard: "everyone who goes into that club either comes out pregnant or a lesbian. and i came out both." holy crap, my brain screamed, as i tried my best to act nonchalant until i finally got my chance to bolt off the bus to safety.
this is just a sampling of the most extreme people i have encountered. there was also the classic "inconsiderate cell phone woman" on the bus who shouted for all to hear, "i told you! i get to keep my left ovary! they're taking out the right one!" and someday, if i have the energy, i will tell you about rita, the crazy woman who is trying to buy my car online. i thought autotrader.com was a pretty safe place, but it turns out by posting your car there, you are actually applying for a possibly illegal middleman position in international business. intrigued? confused? so am i.
on a lighter note, my life has been significantly enhanced by a magazine i found recently...FOUND magazine. people send in random letters, photos, and strange randomness that they find, and it is the most fascinating thing ever. i am hooked. since starting to read it, i have been keeping my eyes to the ground, and i have already found some interesting finds. the best were several crates of abandoned albums outside of one of cambridge's many record stores. i sat right down on the wet sidewalk and helped myself to the mountain of treasure, and realized for the hundredth time why i love this city.
and now, the moment you all have been waiting for...the post-christmas carnage report! it turns out the online wish list was a brillant idea, and i made quite a killing! as i said before, i got my label maker, my computer saavy (and just saavy in general) uncle got me the queen size blue blanket, i got sweaters, socks and underwear, of course, and my mommy got me a really warm, really long, really thick scarf. since that worked out so well, keep your eyes peeled for my grown up birthday list, coming soon to a blog near you.
www.foundmagazine.com go there! i guarantee you will be moved, inspired, and intrigued.
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